How to Introduce a New Sibling Without Jealousy

Bringing home a new baby is an exciting time, but it can also be a major adjustment—especially for older siblings.

Many parents worry:

• Will my toddler feel left out?

• How do I prepare them for the change?

• What if they feel jealous or act out?

  
  

Sibling jealousy is normal, but with the right preparation, you can ease the transition and help your child build a strong, loving bond with their new sibling from day one.

Why Do Older Siblings Feel Jealous?

For young children, the arrival of a baby can feel disruptive. Suddenly, they have to share your attention and adjust to a new family dynamic.

Common reasons for sibling jealousy include:

✔ Less one-on-one attention – Parents are naturally busier with a newborn.

✔ Changes in routines – Bedtimes, playtime, and family dynamics shift.

✔ Uncertainty – Toddlers may not fully understand what’s happening or what to expect.

✔ Feeling replaced – They may worry they’re no longer the "baby" of the family.

It’s important to validate these feelings while also reinforcing their role as a big sibling in a way that makes them feel included and valued.

How to Prepare Your Child Before the Baby Arrives

1. Talk About the Baby in Age-Appropriate Ways

Before your baby arrives, help your child understand what’s changing and what to expect.

✔ Use simple explanations: “The baby is growing in my tummy and will come home soon.”

✔ Show them ultrasound pictures and let them feel kicks.

✔ Read books about becoming a big brother/sister.

For toddlers and young children, concrete examples help them grasp the concept.

2. Involve Them in Baby Preparations

Let your child take part in the excitement by including them in preparations.

✔ Let them help choose baby clothes, blankets, or toys.

✔ Set up the crib together.

✔ Talk about how they can help with the baby once they arrive.

Giving them a sense of ownership helps them feel included rather than left out.

3. Emphasise Their Role as the “Big Sibling”

Help your child see that being a big sibling is special, not something to be feared.

✔ Talk about all the things they can do that babies can’t (like playing with toys, eating big kid food, or running around).

✔ Use positive language: “The baby is lucky to have such an amazing big sibling!”

✔ Let them practice “helping” with a doll or stuffed animal.

Framing the change as something exciting and empowering rather than a loss of attention makes a huge difference.

4. Plan One-on-One Time Before the Baby Arrives

Once the baby is here, newborn care takes up a lot of time. Before that happens, fill your child’s "attention cup" with extra bonding time.

✔ Take them on a special one-on-one outing.

✔ Let them pick a fun activity just for the two of you.

✔ Talk about how your love for them will never change, even when the baby arrives.

Children adjust better when they feel secure in their relationship with you.

How to Handle Sibling Jealousy After the Baby Arrives

1. Make Introductions Positive

The first time your child meets their new sibling is a big moment.

Have someone else hold the baby so you can greet your older child first.

Let them touch or talk to the baby on their terms.

Give them a small “big sibling” gift so they feel celebrated.

Focusing on your older child first prevents them from feeling pushed aside.

2. Maintain One-on-One Time

Your toddler still needs to feel just as important as the baby.

Set aside dedicated one-on-one time each day, even if it’s just 10-15 minutes.

Let them choose an activity that’s just for them.

Use small moments—reading a book, cuddling, or singing a song together.

Even a few minutes of uninterrupted attention can prevent feelings of jealousy and resentment.

3. Let Them “Help” with the Baby

Young children love feeling included. Give them small, age-appropriate tasks so they feel like an important part of the family.

✔ Ask them to bring a nappy or help pick out baby’s outfit.

✔ Encourage gentle interaction: "Can you sing a song for the baby?"

✔ Praise their efforts: "The baby loves when you talk to them!"

When they feel involved rather than pushed aside, they’re less likely to act out for attention.

4. Be Understanding of Regression or Acting Out

Some children show signs of regression after a new sibling arrives—wanting to be carried more, using baby talk, or having more tantrums.

✔ This is normal and temporary—it’s their way of adjusting to the big change.

✔ Avoid scolding or saying "You're too big for that." Instead, offer comfort:

• "I see you want extra cuddles today. Let’s have some snuggle time together."

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Meeting their emotional needs instead of dismissing their behaviour helps them feel secure and reassured.

5. Avoid Making Comparisons Between Siblings

Statements like "Look how well the baby sleeps—why can’t you do that?" can create resentment.

Instead of comparing, celebrate each child’s strengths individually.

Remind your older child that they are just as loved and important.

Sibling comparisons can unintentionally fuel rivalry and jealousy, so focus on nurturing their individual relationship with you.

What If There’s Still Sibling Rivalry?

Even with all the preparation, some sibling jealousy and rivalry are inevitable. Here’s how to handle it:

Acknowledge their feelings: “I know it’s hard sharing mummy’s time. I love you just as much as before.”

Give them safe ways to express frustration: “It’s okay to feel upset, but it’s not okay to hit. Let’s talk about what’s bothering you.”

Reinforce teamwork: “We’re all part of the same family, and we take care of each other.”

Jealousy doesn’t mean your children won’t have a strong bond—it’s a normal adjustment process. Over time, with consistent love and reassurance, they will develop a close sibling connection.

Introducing a new sibling is a huge adjustment for toddlers and young children, but with the right preparation, patience, and reassurance, you can make the transition smoother.

• Involve your older child in the process to help them feel included.

• Maintain one-on-one time so they still feel valued.

• Validate their feelings and help them express emotions in healthy ways.

• Encourage bonding moments between siblings without forcing interaction.

  
  

With time, they’ll learn that a sibling isn’t a replacement—it’s a lifelong friend.

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