Matrescence: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Navigate It

Pregnancy changes your body, yes — but what about your mind, identity, and relationships? For generations, we’ve spoken openly about the physical changes of motherhood, yet the emotional and psychological shifts remain largely unspoken. That’s where the term matrescence comes in — a word that captures the often messy, beautiful, and disorienting process of becoming a mother.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I feel like I’ve lost myself?”, or “I’m not who I used to be, and I’m not sure who I am now,” — you’re not alone. What you’re experiencing isn’t failure, weakness, or something to ‘get over’. It’s matrescence. And understanding it can change everything.

What Is Matrescence?

Matrescence is the physical, emotional, hormonal, and psychological transition a woman undergoes when she becomes a mother — whether it’s through pregnancy, birth, adoption, or another route.

Coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s (the same woman who popularised the term "doula"), matrescence is to motherhood what adolescence is to adulthood — a fundamental transformation of self.

It’s not just the arrival of a baby — it’s the birth of a mother.

And yet, while adolescence is widely acknowledged as a turbulent but expected phase of life, matrescence remains largely absent from mainstream conversation, medical models, and even postnatal care. This absence can leave mothers feeling unseen, misunderstood, and isolated during one of the most significant identity shifts they will ever face.

How Matrescence Affects the Mind, Body and Identity

Matrescence is multi-layered and affects women across every domain of life. It is not a brief moment. It is a process — often extending from pregnancy and early postpartum through the first few years of motherhood and beyond.

Emotional & Psychological

During matrescence, it’s common to experience:

• Grief for your former life, identity, and freedom

• Joy and love alongside rage, confusion or numbness

• Changes in friendships, romantic relationships, and social needs

• A sense of disconnection from your pre-motherhood self

• Heightened anxiety or overthinking, even in moments of happiness

  
  

Many mothers describe it as a constant push-pull between wanting to be the mother they imagined and the person they used to be.

This inner conflict is not a sign something is wrong. It is a natural by-product of transformation.

Hormonal & Biological

Just like adolescence, matrescence is driven by massive hormonal shifts, which can affect mood, memory, libido, energy levels, and even brain structure.

Recent neuroscience has shown that the maternal brain physically changes — new connections are formed in areas related to empathy, vigilance, and emotional regulation. These changes help a mother bond with her baby, but they can also contribute to overstimulation, sensory overload, and burnout when unsupported.

Social & Cultural

Modern motherhood often expects women to "bounce back" physically, emotionally, and professionally, without recognising the full depth of their transition. Many mothers feel pressure to:

• Maintain their pre-baby lifestyle and body

• Be endlessly grateful, even when struggling

• Navigate parenting without complaint or community

• Prioritise everyone else’s needs before their own

  
  

This disconnect between societal expectations and matrescent reality can deepen feelings of shame and inadequacy.

Matrescence vs Postnatal Depression: What’s the Difference?

One of the reasons matrescence is so important to understand is that it helps distinguish normal psychological adjustment from clinical conditions like postnatal depression (PND) or anxiety.

Matrescence is not a diagnosis. It is a developmental phase, not a mental illness.

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, unsettled, or even regretful at times during matrescence — particularly when navigating big emotional shifts. But if you are experiencing:

• Persistent low mood or numbness

• Difficulty bonding with your baby

• Intrusive or distressing thoughts

• Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy

• Feelings of hopelessness or panic

  
  

…then you may be experiencing PND or postpartum anxiety. Both are common and treatable. Reach out to your GP, midwife, or health visitor for support.

Understanding matrescence can reduce unnecessary pathologising of this phase — but it also helps highlight when extra support is needed.

Why Every Mother Deserves to Know About Matrescence

When mothers understand that matrescence is real, valid, and natural, the entire narrative around early motherhood changes.

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?”, mothers begin to ask:

• “How can I support myself through this?”

• “What do I need in this phase of my life?”

• “Who can I connect with that truly gets this?”

  
  

This shift empowers mothers to seek self-compassion, community, and support — rather than self-blame or silence.

At Carol App, we believe that naming this experience is the first step to healing.

How to Support Yourself Through Matrescence

Matrescence is not something to “fix” — but it can be supported. Here’s how:

1. Name the experienceJust knowing the word matrescence can be transformative. It gives language to what feels otherwise intangible and validates your internal shifts.

2. Slow down where you canThis is not a time to rush. If possible, simplify your to-do list, say no more often, and create space to be with your emotions.

3. Find spaces where you can be honestMotherhood isn’t always joyful. Find people or communities where you can be real, vulnerable, and messy without judgment.

4. Honour the loss and the becomingYou are not who you were — and that’s okay. Honour both the grief and the growth. Write about it. Speak about it. Acknowledge it.

5. Seek professional support when neededYou don’t have to figure it all out alone. Whether it’s a therapist, perinatal coach, or support group, professional guidance can provide enormous relief and clarity.

Matrescence is a powerful, ongoing evolution. Like any transformation, it is full of contradictions — joy and grief, love and loss, strength and surrender. It’s not linear, and there’s no clear finish line.

But here’s what’s true: you are not broken. You are becoming.

At Carol App, we’re here to walk beside you through the complex, beautiful mess of motherhood — with expert guidance, honest community, and tools that help you reconnect with yourself.

Download Carol App today for FREE on IOS and Android to access articles, classes, and conversations that honour the full spectrum of matrescence.

References

1. Raphael, D. (1973). The Tender Gift: Breastfeeding. Columbia University Press.

2. Nelson, E. A. (2020). The Neuroscience of Matrescence. Yale Infant Neurodevelopment Research Lab.

3. Sharp, H., Hill, J., & Hellier, J. (2021). Understanding the Psychological Transition to Motherhood: Matrescence and Mental Health. British Journal of Midwifery.

4. NHS. (2024). Your Mental Health After Birth. Retrieved from nhs.uk