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Regulated Play for Transitions: Making Mornings, Bedtime & Leaving the Park Easier

(Carol App’s Play-Based Approach to Stress-Free Transitions with Kids)


Does your child resist getting dressed in the morning?

Do they melt down when it’s time to leave the park?

Does bedtime feel like a never-ending battle?


If so, you’re not alone. Transitions are one of the hardest parts of parenting, because they require children to stop one activity and shift to another—something that can feel overwhelming to their developing nervous systems.


At Carol App, we believe that transitions don’t have to be battles. Instead of forcing cooperation, we use Regulated Play to make transitions feel safe, predictable, and fun—so your child naturally moves from one moment to the next without resistance.




Why Transitions Are Hard for Kids


Children don’t struggle with transitions because they’re being difficult—they struggle because their brains are still learning how to shift states smoothly.


🔹 Their nervous system resists change. Kids feel safe in the ‘known.’ Switching activities can feel jarring.

🔹 They are deeply focused. Young children enter a ‘flow state’ while playing, so stopping feels unnatural.

🔹 They don’t understand time like we do. “5 more minutes” is an abstract concept for toddlers and preschoolers.

🔹 They crave autonomy. If a transition feels like it’s being “done to them,” their fight response kicks in.


By using Regulated Play, we make transitions feel like an extension of play, rather than an abrupt demand—leading to more cooperation and connection.


Play-Based Transition Strategies for Everyday Struggles


1. Morning Transitions (Getting Dressed, Brushing Teeth, Leaving the House)


🔹 Common struggles:

  • Refusing to get dressed

  • Saying “NO!” to brushing teeth

  • Taking forever to leave the house


🛠 Regulated Play Strategies:

✅ “You Pick” Choice Game (For kids who refuse to get dressed)

  • “Do you want to put your socks on first or your shirt?”

  • “Do you want to be a slow turtle or a fast cheetah while we get ready?”


    💡 Why it works: Small choices give kids a sense of control, making them more likely to cooperate.


✅ The “Wrong Way” Game (For kids who resist brushing teeth)

  • “Oh no! Does the toothbrush go in your ear? No? Where does it go?”


    💡 Why it works: Playfulness reduces power struggles.


✅ The “Race to the Door” Game (For kids who won’t leave the house)

  • “Let’s see if we can beat the clock! Ready… set… GO!”


    💡 Why it works: Movement helps shift the nervous system into transition mode.


2. Leaving the Park or Playdate Without Tears

🔹 Common struggles:

  • Meltdowns when it’s time to leave

  • Ignoring you when you say “time to go”

  • Running away instead of coming to the car


🛠 Regulated Play Strategies:


✅ The “Animal Transition” Game (For kids who resist leaving)

  • “Let’s waddle to the car like penguins! Now hop like bunnies!”


    💡 Why it works: Play turns transition into movement, reducing emotional resistance.

✅ The “Magic Countdown” Trick (For kids who hate “5 more minutes” warnings)

  • Instead of: “5 minutes left!” try…

  • “The magic countdown is starting! 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… blast off to the car!”


    💡 Why it works: A predictable countdown gives kids time to prepare without making them feel forced.

✅ The “Final Mission” Play (For kids who ignore “It’s time to go”)

  • “Before we leave, your mission is to find 3 leaves to bring home! GO!”


    💡 Why it works: Giving a last, small task helps kids transition with a sense of closure.


3. Bedtime Transitions (Winding Down Without Battles)

🔹 Common struggles:

  • Running away instead of getting into PJs

  • Not wanting to stop playing

  • Struggling to settle into sleep


🛠 Regulated Play Strategies:


✅ The “Silly Slow-Mo” Game (For kids who resist PJs)

  • “Let’s see who can put on PJs in the sllloooowest slow-motion ever!”


    💡 Why it works: Slow movement naturally calms the nervous system.


✅ The “Heavy Work” Trick (For kids with restless energy before bed)

  • Have them do a “special bedtime job” like pushing a pillow across the floor or carrying a soft basket of toys to ‘put to sleep.’


    💡 Why it works: Deep pressure movement helps toddlers release energy before settling.


✅ The “Stuffed Animal Breaths” Game (For kids who struggle to calm their bodies in bed)

  • “Lay on your back and put your teddy on your belly. Can you make him go up and down with your breathing?”


    💡 Why it works: This turns deep breathing into play, helping kids relax without forcing calmness.


How to Use Regulated Play Instead of Commands


Instead of giving commands, invite play into the transition:


🛑 Instead of: "Get in the car now!"

✅ Try: "Can you hop to the car like a bunny?"

🛑 Instead of: "Put on your PJs!"

✅ Try: "Let’s race to see who can do it the fastest!"

🛑 Instead of: "Stop running! It’s time to go!"

✅ Try: "Ooooh I see a secret treasure on the way to the car! Can you find it?"


This meets your child’s nervous system where it is—shifting resistance into cooperation.


Transitions Don’t Have to Be Battles

At Carol App, we believe that connection makes transitions easier. Instead of fighting your child’s resistance, play through it—so transitions become smoother, calmer, and more joyful.


Want More Play-Based Parenting Tools?

Join the Carol App community for expert-led resources, connection-based parenting tools, and real mum-to-mum support.


📲 Download Carol App Now for FREE on IOS and Android



References


Center for Early Education and Development. (2020). It takes two: The role of co-regulation in building self-regulation skills. University of Minnesota. Retrieved from https://ceed.umn.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/7_It-Takes-Two_The-Role-of-Co-Regulation-in-Building-Self-Regulation-Skills_FINAL.pdf

Cohen, D., & Salazar, J. (2023). Enhancing early childhood educators' skills in co-regulating children's emotions. Frontiers in Education, 7(2). Retrieved from https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/education/articles/10.3389/feduc.2022.865161/full

Gaskill, R. L., & Perry, B. D. (2014). The neurobiological power of play: Using the neurosequential model of therapeutics to guide play in the healing process. International Journal of Play Therapy, 23(1), 30-53. doi:10.1037/a0036541

Lillas, C., & Turnbull, J. (2009). Infant/child mental health, early intervention, and relationship-based therapies: A neurorelational framework for interdisciplinary practice. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.

Lloyd, L. (2023). Exploring play therapy and Polyvagal Theory: Nurturing healing through play. Retrieved from https://allofyoutherapy.net/blog/polyvagalplaytherapy

Minnis, H., Macmillan, S., Pritchett, R., Young, D., Wallace, B., Butcher, J., ... & Gillberg, C. (2013). Reactive attachment disorder and disinhibited attachment disorder in adopted and fostered children: Prevalence, characteristics, and associations. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 202(4), 256-261. doi:10.1192/bjp.bp.112.114074

O’Connor, C., & Stagnitti, K. (2011). Play, behaviour, language and social skills: The comparison of a play and a non-play intervention within a specialist school setting. Research in Developmental Disabilities, 32(3), 1205-1211. doi:10.1016/j.ridd.2010.12.037

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.

Roehampton University. (2023). Clinical applications of the Polyvagal Theory and Attachment Theory to play therapy for children with developmental trauma. Retrieved from https://pure.roehampton.ac.uk/portal/en/studentTheses/clinical-applications-of-the-polyvagal-theory-and-attachment-theo

Synergetic Play Therapy Institute. (2023). Moving toward regulation using Synergetic Play Therapy. Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 57(2), 115-130. Retrieved from https://cjc-rcc.ucalgary.ca/article/view/69443

Taylor, A. M., & Brown, S. M. (2022). Effects of play-based sensory interventions on self-regulation in children. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 78(2), 7811500270p1. Retrieved from https://research.aota.org/ajot/article/78/Supplement_2/7811500270p1/25411/Effects-of-Play-Based-Sensory-Interventions-on

Wonders, L. L. (2023). Anxiety, the autonomic nervous system, and play as the mechanism of change. In Play Therapy and Polyvagal Theory (pp. 142-158). Routledge. Retrieved from https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781003352976-10/anxiety-autonomic-nervous-system-play-mechanism-change-lynn-louise-wonders


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